Bullet To The Ed
by Son of Fiction
Summary: A innocent framed for a crime he didn't commit. A mob out for blood. A man reaping the benefits. Dive into this dark tale of betray, murder, and redemption, as your favorite character duke it out for survival in the harsh world that is BULLET TO THE ED.
1. I

BULLET TO THE ED

The H&R Pardner felt heavy in Double D's hands, now speckled with blood. The shotgun was meant for home defense. This wasn't Double D's home, be he sure needed the defense. Kevin wouldn't be an issue anymore, with his brain matter scattered on the cardboard floor, but he wouldn't be last one to storm this child made building, not by a long shot.

Double D crept towards the door, and placed his ear against the fragile wall. He heard the calvary arriving. A one man calvary. From the old country.

"Kevin? Where has the hate filled beach monger gone?"

Double D knew that if he was going to prove his innocence, he had to find the other Eds. But Rolf wouldn't let him past, not after what happened back in the Cul-De-Sac. Not after the things he was blamed for.

"Kevin? If the dork hunting one doesn't reveal himself soon, the son of the Shepherd will have to take his place!"

No time now, if Double D didn't act soon, he was as good as dead. He grabbed the body, and with all his might, hosted it next to the door frame. Next, he slowly removed his cap, and moved it slightly outside.

"Prepare to die, Double D Ed boy!"

Double D quickly pulled his hat back in, and gave Rolf's bullets something to really target. Kevin's body.

Rolf's Winchester Model 1200 ripped the corpse apart, spraying blood on all corners of the hallway. Rolf turned away, and quickly wiped at the crimson liquid splattered on his face. Double D took this golden opportunity to give Rolf a similar present.

Rolf fell back, his chest gushing, his breath shortening.

"You'll...never...find...escape...murderer...Ed boy..."

"I never planned to escape, Rolf. I planned to survive."

The shrapnel soon put an end to Rolf's life, and put an extension on Double D's. He moved to the square hole at the end of the hall way he called a window. The hunting party was all over the streets, searching every building of the cardboard city looking for this innocent man. But Double D wasn't innocent anymore. He was a murder. But he was also a survivor. And to put an end to this madness, he needed a...

BULLET TO THE ED


	2. II

II

"Messy messy messy."

Double D stepped over the bloodied the bodies, trying to hold back his gag reflex. No time to worry about the mess, he needed to leave the building and find Eddy. Make him pay for what he did.

He couldn't go down, that would be suicide. The mob would be on him before he made it to the block.

Couldn't wait inside either, the crowd would eventually explore the building, and make it an oversized coffin for Double D's body.

The only way out was up.

Double D rushed up the staircase, each step trembling as he climbed. He threw the door to the roof open, and the crisp air cracked against his face.

He took a single breath to take in the air, and stepped outside. But he wasn't alone.

Perched by the edge of the building was Jimmy. Binoculars in one hand, lighter in the next, fidgeting with them both at the same time.

"Oh that Double D, when I get my hands on him, I'm gonna give him the ol' one-two."

"Jimmy must have gotten up here to scout the landscape before I hid in the building", Double D thought to himself, as he began to take aim.

For a moment, Double D began to hesitate. Was he really going to kill a man in cold blood like this? Someone who doesn't know he was there? He had killed in self defense, but this didn't feel like self defense anymore. Felt like murder, and it felt bad. Almost as bad as the metal gasoline tank that just slammed into the back of his head.

Sarah looked down at the collapsed person before her. She almost felt sorry for him. But that didn't stop her from pouring the gasoline on his body.

"Jimmy, you have the honors."

The boy's inner pyromaniac was showing. That devious smile that rarely showed was now in full bloom. And the flame of his lighter was the blossom.

But Double D was the gardner.

He threw himself forward, and wrapped Jimmy in his combustable embrace. The lighter fell from Jimmy's hands, and into Double D's.

"Don't you try anything, Sarah! Any funny moves, and we both go up like a super nova!"

"Sarah! Please! I don't like this! It smells funny!"

The realization of the situation grew on Sarah's face. The child was angry, and when she realized anger would do nothing, she became depressed, and when she realized her depression would do nothing, she became hopeless.

"You killed us all, Double D! You've killed this Cul-De-Sac, you've killed good people, and now you've killed us all!"

"I'm sorry Sarah, but you can't kill what's already dead."

You would be surprised how effective one little drop of gasoline leaking from a discarded gasoline tin and little lighter can be on a cardboard building. Double D wasn't so sure himself, but he soon found out. The flame quickly burned across the ceiling, surrounding Sarah in a burning circle of death. The building began to collapse, as the flames burned from floor to floor. Double D would witness said effect while falling down the side of the building, as he quickly jumped off before the flames touched him.

Jimmy would not only witness this towering inferno, but the top of a dumpster as his face slammed head first into it.

But Jimmy's gruesome demise was not of a complete waste. Without a body to cushion his fall, Double D would have died all the same.

A shame that Double D didn't remember to take his gun though. The mob saw the flames from miles away.

CHAPTER END


	3. III

III

"What's that Plank? No, you didn't hear anything, that was just the wind."

No time to dust off, Double D had to get out of here, before Jonny decided to look behind his back and see the fugitive.

It was a simple enough plan. Just sneak up behind him, grab him by the head, and snap his neck. It wasn't like there wasn't enough headspace to grip onto.

But nothing can be simple for Double D.

"What's that Plank? You smell smoke?"

Quickly, before it's too late. Double D looked towards the nearest- BAM

Too late.

When Double D woke up, he felt worse than the time his father accidentally took off the "don't binge drink" sticky note. His muscles felt heavy, almost sedated. It took him some time, but the blur in his eyes eventually faded, and Double D fully took in the horror that was about to take place.

Double D's entire body, besides for his head, was trapped under the dirt, deep in the woods. When shifting his head, Double D was able to see bits of twigs and leaves had been placed on top of his head. Perhaps the most terrifying part was that his hat was missing.

Well, second most terrifying part. The most terrifying part was Jonny standing over Double D with a sledgehammer.

"Oh hi Double D! Glad your awake! Do you know how many trees you killed with that invention of yours? A lot! And now they're gone, nothing is there, nada, zilch! Well, I got an idea! If I crack your head open, you'll die! And if you die, then the trees can eat your body! Then the trees will grow back! Plank helped me with the plan, what do you think?"

Didn't sound very scientifically accurate.

"You know Jonny," said Double D, trying to pull himself out of his possible grave, "there's an easier way to grow the trees back."

"Really? What's that Plank? Plank says I shouldn't trust you. I'll just hit you with this hammer!"

"But if you do that, than how will you grow all the trees back? And I mean _all _the trees."

"All the trees? You're not trying to scam me, are you?"

"Of course not! I would never do that! You just need to pull me out though, so I can show you how."

It appeared that Plank wouldn't be able to act as Jonny's conscious this time. "Ok, Double D, I'll help you up."

Double D slipped out of the dirt like butter. Looking back at the hole, it appeared that anybody could have gotten out with a little bit of strength. That was something Double D never really had.

"Just look into the hole, Jonny. There's a magic acorn down there that should grow back all the tree. But you need to look deeply into it."

Double D may not have had too much strength, but what he did have was smarts. Smarts, and a foot.

Jonny would have plenty of time to look for the acorn with his head now stuck face first in the hole. Well, as long as he still had air.

Double D picked up his hat, and began to run, heading to the nearby lights.

He was now one step closer to finding the other Eds.

END OF CHAPTER


	4. IV

IV

There it stood. A creature made by the finest engineers in the entire Cul-De-Sac. Made from steel pipes, cardboard, and gasoline tanks, the machine towered over the other homes, or what was left of them.

The incident had left the Cul-De-Sac nothing more than ash and flame. All that remained now was the machine, and the house it was built over. Double D's.

Double D didn't follow the glow of electricity here, he followed the flames.

He hid behind cars, trash cans, bodies of burnt material that Double D couldn't decipher if his life depended on it, getting closer and closer to the base of the machine. If his hunch was correct, Eddy would be somewhere within the machine, acting as figure head of the hunting squad.

But of course, it wouldn't be easy getting inside.

There was a reason Double D was hiding. Eddy wouldn't stay in the dangerously unstable contraption without someone acting as a guardian. And that guardian would have to be the strongest, most loyal and least likely to question orders in all of the Cul-De-Sac.

That, of course, was Ed. Sporting a Model 1887, the titan of a boy ran around the Cul-De-Sac, pretending to shoot at invisible invaders. Double D knew that even though Ed was pretending to shoot, he'd have no trouble pulling the trigger if he saw any real intruders.

Double D had to be quick and quiet if he wanted to get passed Ed. He had already failed to be sneaky twice, but you know what they say. Third time's the charm.

And for a while, this saying seemed to be true. Double D had made it towards the door, his hand trembling on the knob. Perhaps Double D should have taken into account the squeaking, though.

"Die space invader from a star system I don't know!"

Double D closed his eyes, expecting his body to be decimated by shrapnel. But if Double D kept his eyes open, he wouldn't have seen Ed firing his gun, but instead throwing it, as if it were a boomerang.

It wouldn't come back to Ed, but it would be a useful tool for Double D. That is, if he could pull himself back up from the ground. The gun had slammed against his spine, spending a burst of pain throughout his whole body. His body felt like a ton of bricks, the wounds received this day finally seeming to take their toll.

Double D reached for the gun, but he couldn't reach it. Ed could, and he lifted it high into the air, behind his head.

"Ed...please...it's me...you're friend."

"Nice try, space alien, but Eddy told me everything. You stole Double D, and you're going to use your sock hat army to take over the planet. Now back to the neither world with you!"

Double D screamed as the gun collided into his spine once more. When Double D built up the strength to turn his head, he could see that the gun now had a dent in the barrel.

If Double D didn't act soon, this would be the end of his journey. He had to act now, with whatever will he had left.

He lifted his hand up, and put it into Ed's coat pocket.

"You won't find my brains in there, alien from beyond the beyond, I keep it in my other coat" Ed said with a grin.

But Double D wasn't looking for a brain, he was looking for something more important to Ed.

Double D pulled out a piece of stinky cheese, and threw it as far as he could.

"Sheldon, no!"

Ed dropped the Model 1887, and ran towards his cheese. Double D grabbed the shotgun, and fired.

The bullets tore against Ed's back, but he refused to fall.

"Ow! Don't think you're so smart, alien, I prepared for this!"

Ed stumbled towards a nearby minivan, blood seeping from his coat, and lifted it high into the air.

"Any last words, foul beast?"

"Yeah...look up"

Ed looked upward, and while he commented on the sky looking much darker from under a car, Double D fired once more, this time aiming for Ed's arms. Ed might be strong, but it only takes one moment of weakness for two tons of metal to fall on top of you.

Double D dragged himself towards the door to his house. It would all end after this.

END OF CHAPTER


	5. V

V

There could have been a lot of things running through Double D's head. How far up the tower was Eddy? How long would it take until Double D's body finally broke? But there was only one thought in Double D's sock head.

"It's a good thing I installed an elevator."

The makeshift elevator groaned and shook as it slowly moved up the machine's body. Pipe and wire created a strange maze like visual in front of Double D, drops of oil from above speckling the spectacle black. To Double D, he was only gazing at a mechanical monstrosity, one that Eddy had misused, one that destroyed his home, his life. And now it was time for revenge.

Suddenly, a shot fired out from above. Just as Double D saw the feet of his former friend, the elevator's cable snapped. Double D jumped, the Model 1887 clenched in his right hand, and desperately reached for the metal platform. He tried to pull himself upward, but do to his wounds and weak upper body strength, he could only hang.

The model 1887 was kicked out of Double D's hand by a familiar red shoe. With a free hand, Double D used all of his might to pull himself up, and face the person he had killed so many to find.

He faced the front of a Colt Anaconda.

"Sock head! You finally made it! Here to kill me like you killed everyone else?"

Double D looked around the area for something to take advantage of, but made sure to keep Eddy talking and not shooting.

"Killed everyone else!? Eddy, the machine destroyed this whole Cul-De-Sac! And we all know who made the machine do it!"

"We sure do, Double-D, we sure do."

Eddy's familiar sadistic smirk cracked on his face.

"So why'd you do it, Double D?"

Double D jumped back, almost slipping off of the platform.

"Eddy, you were the one who set the machine off! You killed everyone, not me!"

"Don't you remember, Double D? I wasn't even in the machine when shit hit the fan. I was outside promoting the damn thing! Ed was outside too! The only one who could have possibly pushed the button was you, sock head!"

"You liar! I couldn't have pushed the button! I told all of you not to push it! I'm the responsible one! I'm the good one!"

"What's the matter? You make one mistake, and now you need to blame everyone else for what you did? You fucked up, and you killed everyone trying to get revenge. Tell me, who haven't you killed to get here?"

Double D, dumbfounded, insulted, and furious, froze. Eddy's question was something that Double D needed to think about. He didn't have time to think about it though, as Eddy had fired right into his arm, and began to climb his way farther up the machine.

"Don't follow me, Double D! I don't want to kill you."

"So I guess shooting at the elevator was just to scare me?"

Double D tried to follow, but due to the excruciating pain, he could not follow. The most he could do was to shake at the pipes, in hopes of shaking Eddy off.

"You set the machine off! You pushed the button! Just accept it and go home!"

Double D fell to his knees. His attempts to shake off Eddy were futile. Double D had lost. Everything that Double D had fought for, to prove his innocence, to get revenge, had not only failed, but could have been figments of his imagination. Double D contemplated jumping to his death.

Maybe he didn't need to, though.

As if an earthquake had just hit the Cul-De-Sac, the machine began to tremble. Shards of metal fell from above, and the dripping oil began to come down like a stream. Double D looked down to see that his other former friend, Ed, was still alive. Alive and angry, Ed slammed his head into the base of the machine over and over again, until it could no longer support itself.

The flaming, oil seeping head of the beast cracked off from the rest of the machine, and slammed into Eddy. The platform was the next to fall, followed by most everything else. The fall to the bottom of the machine seemed to be slowed down in Double D's eyes. If this was how Double D had to die, gazing up at the moon as he descended, it would be a good enough way to go.

Eddy was crushed by the oil container as he hit the ground.

Ed was impaled by metal poles.

And Double D was the only survivor.

As he pulled himself out of the rubble, and saw the battered and butchered bodies of the Eds, Double D had only one thought in his mind.

"What now?"

END OF CHAPTER


	6. Epilogue

Epilogue

Nazz's hand caressed Double D's bare chest as they both laid in the cot in each other's embrace. The two had never had a sexual experience together before, but the blonde haired vixen could not resist her hero. Without him, she would have surly died in this trailer park.

The three sisters had captured Nazz, tied her to a chair, and slowly cut at her face with a kitchen knife. Why they did this, she did not know. Perhaps the motivation was hidden in one of the sister's comments about "stealing their men."

Double D had burst into the room, and fired a shot from a Colt Anaconda into Lee's face. The two sisters were horrified, and before they could act, Double D threw May to the ground, and slammed Marie into the wall. With the bottom of his foot, Double D crushed May's head under his sole. Marie jumped on top of Double D, and tried to strangle him with all her might. But Double D still had the gun. One shot in the stomach, one shot in the head.

Nazz was horrified, relieved, and strangely aroused by the sight in front of her, and the man in front of her.

And as they finished their passionate love making, Nazz had only one question for Double D.

"Um, dude...why do you have that gun up to my head?"

"Nazz...they're after me."

"Um...what?"

"Eddy was right. I've killed a lot of people. And a lot of people want me dead. No one is going to forgive me for what I've done."

"Edd, you're scaring me."

"I need to kill them before they kill me. I need to kill you before you kill me."

The bullet rang out, for all in the trailer park to hear. If, of course, anyone was still left.

Double D cleaned the brain matter off of his chest, put his clothes back on, and made his way to the door.

In Double D's mind, it was finally over.

The plank that slammed into Double D's head as he walked out the door had other plans in mind.

Double D fell to the ground, splinters in his face. Above him was Jonny, and the bloodied Plank in his hands.

"Hey Double D! Remember me!? You left me in the hole! I couldn't find the magic acorn, so I guess I'll just kill you."

Double D reached for the Colt Anaconda, but Jonny had already grabbed it.

"This will do."

"Wait...Jonny...how did you get out of the hole?"

"I always do."

BAM

**~fin~**


End file.
